An Ode to Ann

This is my best friend Ann. Isn't she beautiful?

Just lovely.

This is how she usually looks when I see her.

Just awful.

Ann is one of the most intelligent, accomplished, hilarious and kind people I know. She is also utterly insane. Ann and I have a friendship that some might consider dysfunctional. It mostly consists of me telling her useless stories, her making terrible faces and screaming confusing threats at me, and both of us staying up til dawn a few nights a month talking on and on and on about every feeling our little hearts possess. We live together, and sometimes frequently it feels like we're married (the relationship I described is how a successful marriage thrives, yes?)

Like any marriage friendship, there are sometimes moments where one person must go off and pursue their dreams, and the other must wait quietly at home for them, trusting that aforementioned traveling dreamer will return once again. As some of you know, Ann recently abandoned me to go to publishing school at NYU for six weeks. I've been surviving this separation by talking to the cats with alarming frequency, not doing the dishes, and carrying Ann's headshot around and asking it for advice (on outfits and boys and whether or not hiding behind the dumpster for 30 minutes talking to the raccoons is "too crazy"). Originally, we had planned for me to visit her this weekend. Unfortunately, it was brought to my attention last week (by my bank account) that my broke ass really can't afford a trip to New York at this moment. To fight through my anguish and disappointment, I have decided to share a Word document I've had on my computer for awhile now. Unbeknownst to Ann, I've been keeping a list of all the bat-shit-banana-balls things she yells at me. And now, dear readers, I share it with you.

Shit Ann Yells at Me

- "Powdered milk!"

- "Cooooorigs, tiny cooooorgis, tiny coooooorgis!"

- "Sweet Sasparilla!"

- "Koala bears!"

- "Orangutans!"

- "I'm comin' to kill you, Juniper!"

- "Coooooooooookie Crisp!"

- "Coooooooourtney Cox..... Arquette."

- "Saaaaaaaasquatches!"

- "CHEESECAKE."

- "Banana hammock!"

- "Superglue!"

- "Cheeeeeeeeeeese!"

- " Coooooooookies!"

- "Maramalade!"

- "Cheesecake for Betsy, Betsy likes cheesecake, Betsy's a cow but she likes cheesecake, she likes cheesecake but she doesn't like Katie"

- "Todaaaaaaaay's the daaaaaaay of murderrrrrrrrrr!"

So. There you go. In twenty years, when Ann is the CEO of some major publishing company, New York Times best-selling author and the most famous playwright in all the land...

Remember this.

Hooray for Life Changes!

I have a new job!

I've been feeling in a bit of a rut for the past year. My original career plan was to dog walk for my company for a couple years, then start up my own company this fall. As that time has been approaching, however, I've been increasingly wondering if that is the right choice. Running a business is a pretty big responsibility (even one as low-stress as dog walking). I wasn't sure that I wanted that at the age of 25, especially while trying to maintain an acting career. After going back and forth on my potential plan for almost a year, I finally decided that I wanted to try something else. With that decision, however, came a whole mess of anxiety. What if I hate my new job? What if no one will hire me (I have a theatre degree and 7 years of animal-care experience - doesn't necessarily translate to high-demand job skills)? What if I can't take time off for shows and auditions like I can with my current job? Add to that the building sense of embarrassment that I don't have a "grown up" job (stupid, I know), and you've got a recipe for a somewhat angsty year.

Then, in the midst of my fluttering around, researching various job opportunities and trying to spice up my resume, I get an email from the leasing agent in my apartment. He's looking for someone to fill in for him part time, and thinks I would be great at the job. A couple weeks of discussions, negotiations, and paperwork later, and I'm the new part time leasing agent. For now I'll be working at the apartment one day a week, and if that goes well, my dog walking boss will consider letting me have off more days.

I'm super freaking pumped, friends. I've always thought I would do well in sales, but have shied away from a lot of sales positions because I think they have a tendency to err on the unethical side. This company seems to really strive to be genuine and honest, and it really is a great place to live. I love the sense of community here, and will feel really great encouraging people to move in. Plus, while this isn't a full-time position, I think it will be the boost on my resume I need to eventually branch out and up in the job world. For now, I'm just really happy to be able to keep dog walking (which I adore) and take steps forward in my career while still being able to do as much theatre as I can squeeze into my life.

Plus, I'm excited to wear something other than sweaty gym clothes to work everyday.

This is how I imagine leasing agents dress. Sexy, no?