Changing Seasons

OH em gee.

I love seasons. I love each season. I try to squeeze every seasonally appropriate thing I can get out of each of them. (Working outside everyday helps a bunch.) This summer, I went to the beach, ate a lot of crabs, ate a ton of produce (berries and cucumbers and watermelon and peaches and corn), went kayaking, went to barbecues, showed off my tramp stamp every chance I got, saw 4th of July fireworks, took a road trip, hung out at the pool most weekends, wore sun dresses, swam in the river, spent a lot of time barefoot, did a Fringe show (which is quintessential summer for me), went to King's Dominion, went white water tubing, held a lot of cicadas (I <3<3<3 cicadas), went to an outdoor concert, and got pretty tan.

Therefore, it is with the knowledge that I have milked summer for all it is worth, that as we fast approach the end of August, I can shout from the rooftops that

I AM HELLA EXCITED ABOUT FALL.

And of course, because I love me some lists, I'm going to break it down for you all, list style (a la my similar spring post). Let's go.

1. Autumnal activities. I am so freaking pumped to go apple picking, pumpkin picking, vineyard touring... not to mention all the other outdoorsy things that are just more beautiful in the fall. The way the light looks, the crisp air, the gorgeous changing leaves, that fall smell... it makes camping, hiking, and general outdoorsiness so much more beautiful. It definitely makes dog walking more scenic.

2. Fall clothes. I have loved the light, breezy clothes of summer, but there's something so cozy about tights and boots and sweaters. I currently have an embarrassingly large word document where I have been putting pictures of outfits I find on the internet and want. (Yes, I understand this is a ghetto version of Pinterest. Yes, I have a Pinterest account that I use rather frequently. No, I cannot tell you why on earth I am not just actually pinning these things.) Plus, I really want some green skinny cords from Old Navy, and that shit just does not work in the summer.

3. Fall food. Of course. I'm always excited about food. I'm going to make homemade applesauce and pumpkin bread and roasted eggplant and vegetarian chili and more soups and stews than your little heart can imagine. Come over for dinner and let me feed you. It'll be a win all around.*

4. HALLOWEEN. Did you all know how out of control obsessed with Halloween I am? Oh sweet lord. I am all the crap about Halloween. I already decided on my costume (which is going to be fan-fucking-tastic). The cats will also have costumes. I'm not positive, but I'm thinking devil costume for Kirby and a princess costume for Stella. Plus, my October will be chock-full of ghost tours, late night ghost stories, scary movies, haunted houses, haunted trails, and a stay in a real haunted house (Ann and I are going back to the Farnsworth Inn in Gettysburg). If I don't end this October possessed/haunted forever by a restless spirit I've angered, I've done something wrong.

So yeah. Fall. I hope you all just got real excited. We still have a week of summer left, so we should all still be wearing our flip flops and doing summery things (I'm going to my family's annual reunion/crab feast this weekend). But soon, guys. Get psyched.

*Holy hell I almost forgot about PUMPKIN BEER.

Yo Yo Yiggity Yo

Good day, peaches. (I'm sipping a peach and nectarine smoothie right now, which is why I addressed you all as peaches instead of muffins or gumdrops or some equally obnoxious pet name.) I've been busy doing all sorts of important business as of late, such as:

1. Setting myself on fire.

That doesn't look safe.

I was supervised by my friend who is a professional stunt-man (aka don't go home and try this and expect not to die in a fiery inferno). I screamed the whole time it was happening. My mom found this picture on Facebook and was fairly alarmed.

2. Finally getting around to watching season two of Game of Thrones. It's amazing, of course. But you know how season one is chock-full of completely unnecessary, extremely graphic sex scenes? (So graphic. I literally googled "how the hell do they film Game of Thrones sex scenes without actually making the actors bone?" I didn't find an answer, which I think is a bit suspicious.) Well, in season two, they decide to do away with a lot of that, and add a crap-ton of nausea-inducing violence. You know what I like watching? Hot people having sex. You know what I don't like watching? Hot people getting eaten by rats. I usually have a pretty strong stomach for gory movies, but this literally had me jumping around and screaming on the opposite end of the room from my muted computer for a couple of scenes. On the plus side, I have a new fake person crush on Jon Snow. (Other contenders include Nick from New Girl and Adam from 50/50). So if anyone knows of any sword-wielding medieval-attired hotties with some good facial scruff to carry me through the snowy wilderness and protect me from dangerous brutes.... let me know.

3. Trimming my nails. I've had short nails for years, and decided to see what I would look like with lady-hands. My long nails were lovely, but they pretty much made it impossible to play the guitar. I've been trying to ignore this fact for the past few months, but recently my increasingly-wretched guitar playing has been making me somewhat miserable. I hacked them all off last night and serenaded the cats for an hour. Expect less awful videos in the future.

4. Getting antsy for fall. I love summer so mucho, but I love fall so so mucho. I'm starting to get excited about apple picking and boots and all things pumpkin. It's almost fall, y'all.

I also did more interesting things, like going to the zoo and King's Dominion and going white-water tubing, but I don't really feel like describing how awesome they were right now. Just know that they were better than most things you've done this summer, probably.

Hope you have a great day, my gumdroppy muffins! You're my absolute freaking favorite (yes, you).

Why Are All the Best Blues Songs Written for Men?

I don't know what it is about being happy that makes me want to sing the blues. Maybe it's because singing the blues when you're sad would just be too depressing. And bluesy songs have a kind of fun feel to them that most sad songs don't. Whatever the reason, I came back from the pool on Saturday and felt like playing my favorite summer blues song.

This song really sounds better with a piano. I don't have a piano, though. I have a guitar. And I can't play it very well. If anyone would like to get me a piano, I would be more than happy to paint it a fun color and serenade you all with equally unsophisticated piano music. Or I could call on one of my piano playing gent friends (I'm looking at you, Andrew Lincoln) to accompany me as I lounge across the top of the piano like a smokey bar songstress.

Unfortunately for you, this recording is just going to be me and my shitty guitar skills. Feel free to close your eyes and imagine a much more musically gifted pianist playing a hand-painted, candy apple red piano as I stretch luxuriously across the top in a slinky, sequined dress, smoking a cigarette and singing you some tunes. Or just watch me in all my pool-hair glory. Up to you.